Player stories

Player: Three Magic

First impressions:

Loaded in, jumped in the nearest teleporter to kill some trolls with a trusty hatchet. Fuck me, I'm stronger than I expected, yawn, trolls are ezpz.

Climbed up the ladder, explored some, found a trainer on the roof south of temple, fuck it, let's do some training then slap some cyclops around. 15 mins later, I didn't advance a single skill, but I wanted to explore! I went back to temple and bought a battle axe from a big boy npc for 200+ GP I got from slashing the trolls.

Let's try Orcs, I jump into the Orc teleporter and headed east.

HOLY FUCK, SO MUCH SPAWN

Swinging left and right with both arms on my battle axe, I was slicin' and dicin' these green motherfuckers

I even managed to hit level 20, ding ding ding ding!

After a bit more exploring and slicin' and dicin', I came across a big ass tower to the south east. I thought, fuck it, let's go in. Climbing down the stairs, I saw a ton of lava, let's go further, maybe even a big boy demon I can suicide to?

After exploring the vast emptiness of the cave, there wasn't a soul in sight, human or monster. But I did come across a set of stairs and a teleporter.

Now, being the fucking amazing explorer I am, I hopped, skipped and jumped up the stairs, to find a vast array of emptiness there, too.

Unsatisfied with my findings, I came back to the teleporter, grabbed my nuts and jumped straight on through.

Little did I know, this teleporter would ping me straight back to the enterance of the castle, a big boy bear attacked me, I sliced and diced in my shock of wasting 10 minutes looking at vast nothingness, sliced the bastards paw off with my hatchet and carried on exploring. I'm not bear food today!

I headed north a little and found a bridge, my reading skills aren't great but I tried.

Now, I'm a big boy so I'm certain I could smack some cyclops around with my battle axe, but Giant Spiders? Nah dude, I'm an arachnophobe, fuck that shit. I continued heading west to retreat.

On my way retrating, I managed to slip into a hole full of Wolves and Bears, I thought I was about to kiss the sweet gods. Since when did Wolves and Bears collaborate and share fucking caves? This world is relentless. I smacked a few around, used my rope and climbed to the top, back to the surface and headed north.

Pic of the deranged wolves and bears sharing caves, but oh, most importantly, axe fighting skill advancement!

After heading north, I fell down another hole, again, full of Bears and Wolves, but this time, there was another hole inside the cave going further down.

I whipped out my explorer hat, clenched my butt and swooped on down.

what a fucking mistake

This ugly green motherfucker was looking at me like I was lunch, no wonder there's bears and wolves, it's a fucking feeding pit for this prick.

I've never climbed a rope so fast in my life, jumped up that motherfucker and headed back to safety at the temple.

Is that all?
No

I couldn't let this dragon deter me from my main objective, to explore. There was a blue, sparkly teleporter right behind it's ass and I was going to run like a dog with my tail between my legs?

I dumped everything in my depot and carried only a studded shield and hatchet... OH... and my leather boots. They're a bit sweaty but they keep me warm.

I ran back to that same cave, dodged and dived the Dragon and fell through the teleporter.

As I spawned the other side, realisation kicked in, 2 motherfucking green motherfucking dragons looking directly at me, startled.

I ran to the other side, I saw a rope spot but lo and behold I left my rope in the depot. As I ran back to the teleport, the dragons fucked me over and I met the gods.

10/10 would recommend

Now I'm bootless and shieldless
But hey, some guy was kind enough to drop me a fucking legend of a battlehammer.
Wish me luck!